Keep Healthy On Your Relationship

Is there any way to determine if a relationship is going to work? First, a relationship is not a machine in which the laws of physics determine proper operation. We have to accept (which term as rich) that there is no magic wand that guarantees the success on loving relationships. As in so many things and aspects of our lives, effort and social learning, in the broadest sense, and education that we have received from our parents (in most cases) by transmitting healthy values are the elements that will enable us to work in the exciting journey of our everyday caring relationship.
While there are no written rules to ensure a healthy love mode “if you do this, now that,” however they do exist a number of verbs that can guide us in a very good direction to the goal of a healthy relationship and satisfactory: respect, compromise, communicate and share.
Is very well speak of respect for your partner. It’s very good. But you respect yourself / a? Do you still respect your weaknesses and limitations? Do you respect your values and beliefs? Do you respect because you’re a person? Do you recognize yourself as someone unique and unrepeatable and therefore endowed with full dignity? Only from a total respect for oneself, the person is able to respect others . Respect the other, our partner, is to accept (another once, with all his wealth) that there are individual differences in ideas, tastes, ways of doing and even certain ways of understanding certain aspects of life. And sometimes the way I see a situation does not have to match the shape with the contemplated my partner.No I have to agree with the arguments of the other to respect what he says or thinks . Moreover, I can be convinced of his mistake or limited success.
Is the lack of an active listening which prevents me access to his argument or his emotional world, staying on my side of the shore.From this we will talk a little later, when dealing with the indispensable task in communication that demands the couple. Respect also means accepting partner in his person, with the elements that characterize his personality. “It’s not like it that way.” Voucher. Phenomenal. But your partner change or modify something you do not like it is up to her. After reflection and personal work. But it is a decision. This does not mean that you can not communicate like this or that, but always on the principle that even with this, it is fully valued and respected as a person. At this point you may be thinking that life couple different aspects of each other’s personality that seriously hamper the relationship may be present. And it is true. Maybe it’s a matter of frequency and degree. If this is the case of some people you know, ask, “If what separates them is stronger than what unites them.” They think.
Respect also has to do with education in treatment and good manners. No good, I repeat, does not serve the “where trust is disgusting”, because if that is the usual way to proceed with the other, no doubt: end up giving disgust. A few days ago, working with one of my patients, serious problems with your partner, argued that the relationship with her husband was very unsatisfactory. Shouting, verbal fights, insults. “It is that we are so very impulsive, but we passed quickly and soon like that. We are like the champagne that we will force through the mouth. We do not give importance to these things. The problem is not there. ” I argued that as discover where was the problem, but without a doubt, she was sitting across from me at the time was, among other things, because the lack of respect between them fed “the problem” day after day . If you know someone who despises his partner who interrupts speech, that ridicules alone or in front of others or makes him see that not taken seriously, that is, that does not respect him … tell him think.
According to the dictionary of the Royal Academy of the Spanish Language, we understand compromise, “partly agree with what is believed not fair, reasonable or true, in order to eliminate a difference.” But often “what is believed fair” begins and ends in my view … and what not to say “reasonable” and “truth”. One thing is what I think is reasonable, from me, and another thing is what the other says or thinks is reasonable, since yours. At least, it would be very healthy to contemplate the possibility that the other has his partly right, since this posture necessarily lead us to dialogue . A second dictionary definition brings is “adjust some doubtful or disputed point, the parties voluntarily agreeing on any media to compose or split the difference of the dispute”. Come negotiation. And in any negotiation something is gained and something is lost. It’s about (again) acceptance. The same, perhaps to meet a relative or acquaintance who has trouble compromise. Suggest that think why.
Perhaps this is the key to a satisfying and fulfilling relationship. Because talking, talking all, some more and some less. But a healthy and communicate effectively is another matter. And I do not mean to be technical experts to speak in public or to possess expertise in oratory.Because communication goes far beyond the issue of more or less intelligible sounds and a mere natural hearing process there of. Communicate with the other it is to get to the other … and the other comes to me. It is to practice what is called active listening . I suggest you read carefully few lines in which Susanna Tamaro, where the heart will take illustrates how precarious communication severely affects the relationship of the couple. “Returning to his room , Augusto soon began to behave like a man of his land. During meals we kept almost silent, when I struggled to tell me something answered yes or no, in monosyllables “… I had the feeling that, above all, what Augusto wanted was to find someone at home when eat, someone to proudly display in the cathedral on Sundays; It did not seem much interested in the person who was behind that comforting image. ” There is more that even very briefly, and knowing that this already know very well, we comment what is active listening. Listening is not “waiting for the other to finish speaking” (while I prepare my speech). Listening is not waiting for the light to turn green. This is liable to be a good citizen, but this is not listening. Listening is not hearing. Hearing is a natural process, pure physiology anvil, hammer and snail.